Here comes Cupid.... ity?

I am, as you may be just finding out, a female. This makes for many a joke about marriage in the Biblical school I attend, either in joking with other females about our "Bridal University" title (instead of Biblical), or with men around me because I am neither married to nor supervised by (as in a father-daughter role) them and am not required to submit. In this environment, a comment about my future last name took on a whole new life.

I had a striking revelation the other day in conversation with a friend. My friend helped finally realize that when I marry, it will be MY last name that changes. My NEW initials will be determined by what The Husband's last name is.

So then, if I keep my "maiden" name until I die, I never married. There ARE cases where the woman keeps her last name; I will surrender mine. Therefore, no new name implies I was an old MAID(en) for my entire life.
 
Why did this strike me so hard? I am waiting to get married for many years to come, and I still wonder if I will meet that man. Could it be the age old struggle of SUBMISSION, back from the grave, trying to tear down confidence in all that makes me who I think I am?

A book I have been reading, "Cupidity: 50 Stupid Thing People Do For Love, and How To Avoid Them". Author couple Haley and Michael DiMarco examine the consequences of Adam and Eve's eating the forbidden fruit in Eden. Both the man and woman were cursed in ways that affected them directly (for this, just the woman's part is expounded). The female will "desire to control her husband, but He will rule over her" (Genesis 3:16, New Living Translation). This translates as: I, as a single woman, am INDEPENDENT. And, by giving up my last name, surrender of that name invalidates any claim to me being in full control. I have to reorganize my value based on another person's opinions: The Husband and I are now one. His leadership is what matters now; my desire for control must be checked through love from The Husband. To undermine his role would be Cupidity. It would murder our relationship. (See chapters 6-13, if you choose against reading the entire book.)

All these thoughts came from one simple comment and few chapters of what is shaping into a good book. (I can let you borrow it, if you would want to read it). I appreciate that my friend's joking was able to help me see a huge stepping stone in my life. Next step? Finish that book!

MEN: I hope you take from this what your comments make women think about. What you say can leave a positive or negative impact on us for years to come. And, if I never say it again, I appreciate all my guy friends that have helped me either shape opinions over the years or realize that a man's silence is not a personal attack on myself.

"WOA!"-MEN: You are valuable to God as a person and as a spouse. Your husband leads, but you support him. And Like the Taj Mahal with shaky supports, you can undermine that authority by taking too much control. Let your husband be the man; he better love you for it. God will. Build your castle; be the Queen you are.