So running today was hard. My muscles did not want to function, but gravity pulled them downward, up, and forward at my command, hesitating at jumping over the GIANT LOG in front of me. As I said then, "I'm too short for this log!" as if I can go in a different part of the woods and jump one just my size. The workout was a total of fourish miles or so (warm up included, so maybe more). We ran two loops over newly mowed paths/ somewhat cleared passageways in our "forest". This path is one step closer to having a race HERE, at our SCHOOL! That means one day we might host the championship meet on campus! Oh the glorious day.
So onto the real topic of today... how do you forgive yourself after something goes wrong? Now, I'm not saying after someone harms you or otherwise wrongs you. I mean when you failed to turn in a paper or do honest work towards a good grade, how do you treat yourself after that? When you watch yourself (sometimes I can imagine myself watching myself. It's a rather unique concept) make decisions that lead to negative consequences, do you tell yourself you are worthless? Does the thought of poor life vision creep into your mind? It does for me. I fall into the same patterns constantly. I am currently writing a post about this instead of doing homework. I take the "short term" band-aid to make my pain feel better instead of buckling down and doing what will help me in the long term. It's like taking a mile in quick, painful spurts rather than running consistently. You run for a few seconds at your fastest speed then BAM! cramp in your side stops you. The consistent runner keeps rolling. You kinda get your breath from running more slowly, then zoom ahead again until GASP even worse pain in your rib cage. The consistent runner keeps moving. Finally, you are near the finish and you have just enough for one final, more powerful burst and you are about to finish.. and the consistent runner is cheering you in. It's not that this is a race and there are people I want to beat, it's how I run the race. I attempted to stop caring that people were beating me last year. It was about quality, I realized. Now all I need is to put it into practice.
Well, there's under 30 minutes left here as the (wonderful) librarian just said. I have 30 minutes to get closer to my goal of consistency. I can almost run a 6k in that time : )
Assignments:
check
Computer:
check
Motivation:
> 0
Song: High Road by Fort Minor (w/John Legend) *cursing advisory: there is some I bet. don't listen AT ALL if you don't like cursing*
Deep.
ReplyDeleteThanks man
ReplyDelete